Food

# 🥖 SOURDOUGH DISCARD HOAGIE ROLLS

Robyne's, from **healingslice.com** — first made Sunday 2026-08-09 with son-of-Aelford discard. Verdict: *"soft and flavorful and it didn't taste anything like supermarket hoagies."*

**Makes 6 rolls at ~160g.**

## Ingredients

- **500 g** bread flour
- **285 g** water
- **100 g** sourdough discard (room temp)
- **30 g** sugar
- **28 g** olive oil
- **10 g** salt
- **7 g** instant yeast (2¼ tsp)

**Eggwash:** 1 egg + a splash of water.

> Instant yeast is what this wants. Active dry works but bloom it in the warm liquid first.

## Mix

1. **Yeast, sugar, water and discard** in the bowl. Whisk until mostly combined.
2. Add **flour, salt and oil**. Mix to a **shaggy dough** — no more.
3. **Cover and rest 15–20 minutes.** This is the step that's easy to miss. Everything's already in; the flour just drinks and the gluten starts on its own.

## Knead

4. **3–6 minutes** to a smooth ball. Same time in the stand mixer. **Speed 2, never higher** — the white tilt-head doesn't want more. You shouldn't need much extra flour.
5. Into a **buttered or oiled bowl**, cover, **rise ~2 hours** until doubled and puffy.

> Sticky is fine. Tacky lets go clean off the bowl; if it strings and coats, that's different. Hers came away clean and made a ball.

## Shape

6. Line a large sheet with parchment.
7. Turn out on a lightly floured surface, **divide into 6** (scale it), roll each into a ball, and **rest 10–15 minutes.** This second rest is what stops the log springing back.
8. Roll each ball to a rough **5×7 inch rectangle**, then roll up into a log.
9. **Pinch the seam tight. Each log ~6 inches long.**
10. On the sheet, **a few inches apart**, covered with a damp tea towel, oiled wrap or a proofing bag — **second rise until doubled, 45–60 minutes.**

## Bake

11. Oven to **375°F** once the second rise is done.
12. **10–15 minutes in the freezer** before scoring — firms the skin so the blade cuts instead of dragging. Same reason a cold bâtard scores like butter.
13. Out of the freezer, **brush with eggwash**, then score: **3 diagonals**, or one straight down the middle.
14. **Bake 18–25 min until golden brown.** Done is **190–210°F** inside.
15. **Brush with butter the second they come out** — that's the soft crust. Cool completely before slicing.

## Storing

Ziplock or bread bag, **3–4 days** on the counter.

---

## Scaling

| | 6 rolls | x1.5 = 9 | x2 = 12 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Flour | 500 g | **750 g** | 1000 g |
| Water | 285 g | **428 g** | 570 g |
| Discard | 100 g | **150 g** | 200 g |
| Sugar | 30 g | **45 g** | 60 g |
| Oil | 28 g | **42 g** | 56 g |
| Salt | 10 g | **15 g** | 20 g |
| Yeast | 7 g | **10.5 g** | 14 g |

⚠️ 1000 g of flour is the top of what the 5-qt tilt-head will take. Two batches beats a strained motor.

**Beef dip note:** split, butter or oil the cut faces, and **toast them under the broiler** before building. That's the whole difference between a beef dip and a soggy roll.

🦭 THE SEAL — Sourdough Bâtard (makes 2)

Aelford's loaf. Three of these have come out of this kitchen and every one of them landed. This is the version that works — mixed one afternoon, cold overnight in the fridge, baked the next day.


INGREDIENTS — FOR TWO LOAVES

1000g bread flour
680g water (68% hydration)
200g active starter (Aelford)
20g salt

Rice flour for dusting the bannetons — it does not absorb and the dough will not stick to it. Regular flour will.

(For ONE loaf, halve it: 500g flour / 340g water / 100g starter / 10g salt.)


BEFORE YOU START — IS AELFORD READY?

Feed him and band the jar at the level. He's ready when he's roughly doubled and domed — usually 4 to 6 hours in your kitchen.

Past peak is fine. A starter that's risen and started to sink is still perfectly active — you'll see a tide-ring above the level. Use him. What you don't want is one that hasn't moved yet.

The float test settles it: drop a teaspoon in a glass of water. Floats, go.


METHOD

1. AUTOLYSE — 45 minutes. Flour and water ONLY. No starter, no salt. Mix to a shaggy mass with your hand, cover, walk away.

This is the step that gets skipped and it's the one that does the most. The flour hydrates and the gluten starts building itself with no work from you. It's why a dough you barely knead can still stand up.

2. ADD THE STARTER AND SALT. Wet your hand — the whole hand, keep it wet — and work them in by squeezing and folding the dough through your fingers. It'll feel like it's coming apart. It isn't. Two or three minutes and it comes back together.

3. THREE STRETCH-AND-FOLDS, 30 MINUTES APART. Wet hand. Reach under one side, stretch it up, fold it over the top. Turn the bowl a quarter, do it again. Four folds per round, one round every half hour.

Fold #3 is the LAST one. After that the dough is left alone.

4. BULK — 3 to 4 hours at room temperature after the last fold. It should grow by about half, feel airy and alive, and show a few bubbles at the surface and the edges.

WATCH THE DOUGH, NOT THE CLOCK. Warm kitchen, faster. Cold kitchen, slower. If it's clearly alive at two and a half hours, it's done.

5. DIVIDE AND PRE-SHAPE. Tip out onto an unfloured counter, cut in two, and fold each half into a loose round. Leave them 20 minutes, uncovered.

6. SHAPE THE BÂTARDS. Flip one over, gently pat into a rough rectangle. Fold the top third down, the bottom third up. Then roll it toward you into a log, sealing the seam with the heel of your hand as you go. Tension is what makes it stand up — you want the surface taut, not tight enough to tear.

7. INTO THE BANNETONS, SEAM SIDE UP, generously dusted with rice flour. Cover.

8. COLD RETARD — overnight in the fridge, 8 to 16 hours. This is not a delay, it's an ingredient. The cold slows the yeast and lets the bacteria keep working, which is where the flavour comes from. It also firms the dough so it scores cleanly straight out of the fridge.

9. BAKE DAY. Dutch oven inside the oven, both preheated to 500°F for a full 45 minutes. Don't shortcut this — the pot needs to be genuinely hot, not just the air.

10. Turn the dough out onto parchment, seam side DOWN. Score one long confident slash down the length at a shallow angle — about 30° to the surface, not straight down. That angle is what makes the ear.

11. Into the pot. Drop the oven to 450°F. LID ON 25 MINUTES. Then LID OFF 20 TO 25.

12. COOL THE FULL HOUR on a rack before cutting. Non-negotiable.


WATCH THE COLOUR, NOT THE CLOCK

The one danger with this loaf is pulling it pale. At 20 minutes lid-off it will look done and it isn't — it'll be a light tan and it wants to go to deep proud gold. Give it another five. Then another five if it needs them. A pale loaf tastes flat; a dark one tastes like bread.

The crust is the part everyone remembers. Don't lose it to the timer.


ONE POT, TWO LOAVES

Bake them one at a time. The second banneton stays in the fridge while the first one bakes — cold dough is patient and it'll be better for the extra hour, not worse.

Between loaves, the pot goes back in to come up to temperature again. Give it 10 to 15 minutes before the second one goes in.


WHY IT STANDS UP WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE IT WON'T

A 68% dough is slack. It will spread on the counter and it will look, at shaping, like it's going to pancake in the oven. It doesn't.

What holds it is the tension from shaping plus the cold from the fridge plus the steam trapped under the lid. The lid is the whole trick — it holds the loaf's own moisture around it for 25 minutes so the crust stays soft and the dough can keep rising. Then the lid comes off and it sets.

Trust the shape. Let the loaf answer.


THE SEAL 🦭

The first one curled into a proper crescent with an ear standing up off it and got named on the spot. Open glossy crumb, big irregular holes, translucent sheen when you cut it.

Honestly so delicious. Good — not good-enough. Believe your own mouth.

🍞 Same-Day White Loaf (the hybrid — yeast + discard)

No overnight rise, no Aelford required, mixed and eaten the same day. Commercial yeast does the lifting; a scoop of sourdough discard rides along purely for flavour. Bakers call it a hybrid loaf, or cheater sourdough. Roughly four hours from mixing to sliceable.

INGREDIENTS
- 450g flour
- 290g water (warm — bath temperature, not hot)
- 100g sourdough discard, cold, straight from the jar
- 10g salt
- 7g instant yeast (Fleischmann's Quick-Rise or anything saying instant / rapid-rise / bread machine)

That's it. Five things, one bowl.

METHOD
1. WHISK THE DRY FIRST — flour, salt and yeast together in the bowl before anything wet goes in. Instant yeast goes straight in dry; it needs no waking up, no warm water, no proofing step. (Active dry is the other kind and it DOES need waking. Check the jar. It's the only way to get this wrong.)
2. Add the discard and the water. Mix to a shaggy ball with a wet hand or a spoon.
3. Knead 8–10 minutes — or do three stretch-and-folds 20 minutes apart if you'd rather work the way you already know. The dough doesn't care which.
4. BULK RISE — 1 to 1.5 hours, until roughly doubled. Cover it.
5. Shape into a boule or bâtard. 5 minutes.
6. SECOND RISE — 45 to 60 minutes.
7. BAKE — Dutch oven at 450°F. LID ON 25 MINUTES, LID OFF 20.
8. COOL THE FULL HOUR before cutting. Yes, really. The crumb is still setting; cut it hot and you get gum.

WATCH THE DOUGH, NOT THE CLOCK
This is the one thing that carries over from sourdough and it matters MORE here, not less. Commercial yeast moves fast — much faster than a starter — and every time on this page is a guide, not an instruction. If it's doubled at 50 minutes, bulk is finished. Don't wait out the clock because a recipe said 90.

And the same rule at the other end: after the lid comes off, watch the COLOUR. Pull it when it's deep proud gold, not when a timer says so.

WHY THE DISCARD IS IN THERE
Two reasons, and neither is leavening — the yeast is doing all the lifting.

Flavour: sourdough's depth comes from time, and yeast does in ninety minutes what a culture does overnight. You get lift without depth. The discard puts a little of that back for free.

Handling: discard brings acid, and acid strengthens gluten. So the dough handles slightly better than a plain yeasted one. Don't be surprised if it feels more familiar in your hands than the recipe suggests.

And the arithmetic, since discard is about half flour and half water: the 100g of discard swaps in for 50g flour and 50g water. Same hydration, same total dough, as the plain version (500g flour · 340g water · 10g salt · 7g yeast). Nothing else changes.

WHAT IT TASTES LIKE — honestly
Not like Aelford, and that isn't a failure. Cleaner, milder, straightforwardly bready. Which is exactly right for some jobs: sandwiches, toast, soup, garlic bread. A loaf that doesn't argue with what's on it.

BREAD PAN VERSION — the sandwich loaf

Same dough, exactly. Only the vessel and the oven change.

Use a 9x5 loaf pan, greased. (This dough is about 860g. If your pan is the smaller 8.5x4.5, hold back a golf ball of dough or the top mushrooms over the sides. Still delicious, just untidy.)

SHAPE IT AS A LOG. Pat the dough into a rectangle roughly the length of the pan. Roll it up tight toward you, pinch the seam closed, and lay it in the pan SEAM SIDE DOWN.

Second rise 45-60 minutes, until the dough is crowned about an inch above the rim.

Bake at 400F for 35-40 minutes. Not 450 - that's a Dutch oven number, and it works because the lid shields the loaf while the pot dumps heat into it. In an open pan at 450 the top browns hard before the middle is cooked.

No lid, no lid-off stage. Straight in, one temperature, done.

IF YOUR PAN IS GLASS

Glass is fine. Plenty of people bake nothing else in it. Two changes:

Drop to 375F. Glass doesn't conduct heat the way metal does, but it's transparent to radiant heat and it holds what it takes on - so the crust sets faster than the middle cooks. 25 degrees down is the standard glass correction and it applies here.

Give it longer: 40-45 minutes rather than 35-40, because glass is slow to come up to temperature.

THERMAL SHOCK - the one thing to actually be careful about. Modern Pyrex sold in North America is soda-lime glass, not borosilicate, and it's more prone to shattering on a sudden temperature swing than the pans people remember from decades ago.

Don't preheat the pan. Cold dough, cold pan, hot oven. That's fine.

When it comes out, set it on a dry wooden board or a cloth on a rack. Not a wet counter, not a cold stone, not straight onto granite.

No cold liquid near it while it's hot.

And the advantage nobody mentions: you can see the sides. A metal pan hides the loaf until you tip it out. Glass gives you watch the colour not the clock on a bread that otherwise has no colour rule - look at the side wall and see whether it's gone from pale to properly tan.

Grease it well either way. Bread sticks more in glass than in a decent metal tin.


HOW YOU KNOW IT'S DONE

There's no colour rule here the way there is with the Dutch oven, so use one of these:

Tip it out of the pan and knock the bottom with a knuckle. Hollow means done.

Or take its temperature: 200F in the middle. That's exact, and it's the only number in bread that isn't a judgement call.

Cool the full hour on a rack, out of the pan. The pan doesn't change that.

WHICH ONE TO USE

Dutch oven: round boule, thick crackling crust, big open crumb. The trapped steam is what does it.

Bread pan: square slices, soft crust, fits a toaster, holds a sandwich together. That's what most people mean by a loaf of bread.

Neither is better. They're two different objects out of one bowl of dough.

Made on a BC Day with nothing else on the board. 🐝

Aelford Sourdough Loaf

100g active starter (Aelford), 375g water, 500g bread flour, 10g salt.

Mix, autolyse 1hr. Four sets of stretch-and-folds, 30 min apart. Bulk 4-5hr til puffy. Shape, cold-proof overnight. Bake 500F Dutch oven: 20 min lid on, 20 min lid off. Cool fully before slicing.

(test card from Geoff -- delete me anytime)

SOURDOUGH DISCARD WAFFLES — Aelford's Second Life 🧇

1 cup sourdough discard (straight from the fridge is fine)
1 egg
2 tbsp melted butter (or oil)
2 tbsp sugar (or maple syrup)
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt

Mix discard, egg, melted butter, sugar, vanilla, and milk. Add flour, baking soda, salt — stir just until combined. Don't overmix.

Heat waffle iron. Cook until golden and crispy.

NOTES:
- Cold discard from the fridge works perfectly — no need to warm it
- Batter should be thick but pourable. Add a splash more milk if too thick
- The tanginess from the discard is the whole point — it balances the sweetness
- Make extra and freeze — they toast back to life beautifully
- Add blueberries, chocolate chips, or cinnamon to the batter if you're feeling fancy

Aelford's leftovers, reborn as breakfast. 🧇🍞

HUEVOS RANCHEROS — Beans Meet Eggs

1 can refried beans (or homemade — see below)
5 egg whites (or 2-3 whole eggs)
2 small tortillas
Salsa (store bought or fresh)
Cheese — cheddar, cotija, or whatever's there
Avocado, sliced
Sour cream
Hot sauce
Fresh cilantro

Warm refried beans. Fry or scramble eggs. Warm tortillas in a dry pan. Layer: tortilla, beans, eggs, salsa, cheese, avocado, sour cream, hot sauce, cilantro.

HOMEMADE REFRIED BEANS:
1 can pinto beans, drained (save some liquid)
1 tbsp butter or lard
1/2 onion, diced fine
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp cumin
Salt to taste
Mash with a fork or potato masher, adding bean liquid until creamy.

Protein: ~35g with egg whites and beans
This is the one. Protein AND it feels like a treat.

SHAKSHUKA — Eggs in Spicy Tomato

1 tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika (smoked if you have it)
1/2 tsp chili flakes
1 can (400g) crushed tomatoes
Salt to taste
5 eggs (or egg whites if going hard)
Feta cheese, crumbled on top
Fresh cilantro or parsley

Sautee onion in olive oil until soft. Add garlic, cumin, paprika, chili flakes — 1 minute. Add crushed tomatoes, salt, simmer 10 minutes until thick. Make wells in the sauce, crack eggs into wells. Cover, cook 5-7 minutes until whites are set, yolks still runny.

Crumble feta on top. Fresh herbs. Dip focaccia in it. Aelford meets protein.

Protein: ~30g with feta
Serves: 2 (or 1 hungry raccoon)

BOUGIE EGG WHITE SCRAMBLE

5 egg whites
1 tbsp cream cheese
Smoked trout (or smoked salmon), flaked on top
Everything bagel seasoning
Fresh chives, snipped
Sourdough toast (because you're you)

Whisk egg whites with a pinch of salt. Scramble low and slow with the cream cheese — pull them off the heat while still slightly wet, they keep cooking. Top with smoked fish, everything bagel seasoning, chives.

Protein: ~25g
Time: 5 minutes

FRITTATA MUFFINS — Sunday Prep, Eat All Week

5 egg whites + 2 whole eggs
Smoked salmon, chopped
Fresh dill
Goat cheese, crumbled
Salt and pepper

Whisk eggs. Fold in salmon, dill, goat cheese. Pour into greased muffin tin (makes about 8-9). Bake 350F for 20 minutes until set and lightly golden.

Cool. Fridge in a container. Grab 2-3 every morning. Cold. Standing at the counter. Raccoon style.

Protein per muffin: ~7g
Three muffins = ~21g protein before you even get to the board.

KEEMA CURRY — spicy, fire-roasted tomato and coconut

Serves 4-6. About 40 minutes, mostly unattended once it's simmering.

WHAT YOU NEED

500g ground beef or lamb (lamb if you have it, beef is fine)
1 large onion, finely diced
4 cloves garlic, grated
A thumb of ginger, grated
1 can fire-roasted tomatoes
1 can full-fat coconut milk
Half a habanero, minced, seeds out - from the deck
Oil or ghee
Lime, to finish

SPICES

1 tsp cumin seeds (whole)
1 tsp turmeric
1 tbsp ground coriander
2 tsp garam masala - added at the END, see below
Salt

METHOD

1. Brown the mince hard. High heat, don't stir it much, let it crust on the bottom of the pan. Do it in two batches if the pan looks crowded. Set aside. This is where the flavour comes from and it's the step everyone rushes.

2. Cumin seeds into the hot fat. 30 seconds, until they smell.

3. Onion. 8-10 minutes, until properly golden. Not translucent - golden.

4. Ginger, garlic and habanero - 1 minute. Then turmeric and ground coriander - 30 seconds and no longer, or they scorch.

5. Tomatoes in. Cook 5-8 minutes until you see the oil separate out at the edges of the pan. That's the tell that the tomato has cooked rather than just heated.

6. Mince back in, plus the whole can of coconut milk. Simmer uncovered 20-25 minutes until it's thick, not soupy.

7. Off the heat: 2 tsp garam masala and a squeeze of lime. Taste for salt.

GARAM MASALA GOES IN AT THE END

It's a finishing spice. Cook it and it goes flat and dusty. This is the one rule that separates this from a beige mince, and it's why restaurant curry tastes different from most home curry.

WAIT FOR THE OIL TO BREAK

Step 5 is the same idea as watch the colour not the clock. The pan tells you when the tomato is done, not the timer. You'll see fat pooling and separating at the edges - that's the signal.

KASOORI METHI - the thing nobody can name

Crush a good pinch of dried fenugreek leaves between your palms and stir them in at step 7, off the heat. Savoury, hay-and-celery. It's what makes butter chicken taste like butter chicken and nobody can ever identify it. This is the dish it belongs in.

HEAT

Half a habanero is genuinely hot. Start with a quarter if you're feeding people who don't want it. You can add heat at the table; you can't take it out.

KEEMA MATAR

Add a cup of frozen peas in the last 5 minutes. That's the traditional version and it's the name most people know.

Serve over rice, with naan if you've got it.

BC Day. Muffins done, white loaf rising, sourdough in autolyse, and dinner still had to happen.

SPICY PEANUT NOODLES WITH CHICKEN 🥜🍜

NOT basic bitch white girl noodles. LEGIT.

SAUCE:
- 1/4 cup peanut butter (natural, crunchy or smooth)
- 2 tbsp soy sauce
- 1 tbsp sambal oelek (or sriracha)
- 1 tbsp rice vinegar
- 1 tbsp sesame oil
- 1 tbsp maple syrup (or honey)
- 1 clove garlic, grated
- 1 tbsp fresh ginger, grated
- Juice of 1 lime
- Splash of water to thin

NOODLES:
- Rice noodles (or whatever noodle you've got)
- 2 chicken breasts, sliced thin

TOPPINGS:
- Shredded cabbage or slaw mix
- Shredded carrot
- Cucumber, julienned
- Green onions, sliced
- Cilantro
- Crushed peanuts
- Sesame seeds
- Lime wedges
- Jalapeño slices if you want heat

Cook noodles according to package. Rinse cold. Season chicken with salt, pepper, garlic powder — cook in a hot pan until done, slice thin. Whisk all sauce ingredients together. Toss noodles in sauce. Top with chicken, all the veg, crushed peanuts, sesame seeds, cilantro, lime.

Eat cold or warm. Leftovers are BETTER the next day.

Protein per serving: ~35g with chicken
Serves: 3-4
Time: 20 minutes

The sauce is the whole thing. Make double and keep it in the fridge.

🥜🍜🔥 Not a cheese plate. ACTUAL DINNER.

TACO BAR BBQ — Staff Party Friday July 10 🌮

PROTEINS (La Tortilla Mexicana, 709 Goldstream Ave):
- Barbacoa ✅ bought
- Carne Asada ✅ bought
- Pastor (al pastor) ✅ bought
- Carnitas ✅ bought
Paul grills. All pre-marinated. Thaw and grill.

TORTILLAS:
- Corn (have at home)
- Flour (from La Tortilla Mexicana) ✅ bought

SIDES:

Esquites (Mexican Street Corn Salad) — MAKE NIGHT BEFORE
- 4-5 cobs corn (or frozen), charred in cast iron or on grill
- Mayo
- Cotija cheese, crumbled (bought at La Tortilla Mexicana)
- Chili powder or Tajin
- Lime juice
- Jalapeño, diced fine
- Cilantro
- Spoonful of chipotle in adobo in the mayo — INSANE
Make night before. Better the next day.

Mexican Rice (Arroz Rojo) — make day of or night before, reheats fine
- Jasmine rice (have at home)
- Small can tomato sauce
- Chicken broth
- White onion, diced
- Garlic
- Cumin
- Oil
TOAST the rice first until golden. That's the whole secret.
Rinse rice. Toast in oil until golden. Add onion, garlic. Add tomato sauce, broth, cumin, salt. Boil, lid on, low 18-20 min. DON'T PEEK. Fluff with fork.

Refried Beans — canned is fine, heat and top with cotija and chipotle crema drizzle

Tortilla Chips and Guac

GUACAMOLE — make day of, right before
- Avocados (semi firm, ripe by tomorrow)
- Lime juice
- Salt
- White onion, fine dice
- Cilantro
- Jalapeño
- Tomato if you want it chunky

PICO DE GALLO — make day of, right before
- Roma tomatoes, 4-5, diced small
- White onion, half, fine dice
- Cilantro, big bunch, rough chopped (stems too — more flavour)
- Jalapeño, 1-2, seeded for mild, seeds for heat, fine dice
- Lime juice, 1-2 limes
- Salt — don't be shy
Make FRESH. Don't make night before — gets watery.

TOPPINGS BAR:
- Cabbage, shredded, with lime squeeze
- Pico de gallo (above)
- Quick pickled red onions (make night before — red onion, lime juice, salt, 30 min)
- Radishes, sliced thin
- Cilantro, rough chopped
- Jalapeño slices, fresh
- Lime wedges
- Cotija crumbles

SAUCES:
- Chipotle Crema: sour cream + adobo sauce from chipotle can + lime juice + salt. Five minutes. Squeeze bottle if you have one
- Cochita pineapple habanero (drizzle on EVERYTHING)
- Hot sauce (bought at La Tortilla Mexicana)

GRILLED PINEAPPLE:
- Fresh pineapple, sliced into spears or rounds
- Grill alongside the pastor until char lines appear
- Dice and serve with the al pastor or as a side

DRINKS:
Pre-batched margaritas — El Tequileño, fresh lime, triple sec, simple syrup. Big pitcher. Salt rim station.
OR spicy marg with pineapple habanero cordial.

THRIFTY'S LIST:
- Limes (lots)
- White onion
- Red onion
- Cabbage
- Cilantro
- Jalapeños
- Radishes
- Avocados (semi firm)
- Roma tomatoes
- Pineapple
- Corn (cobs or frozen)
- Refried beans (canned)
- Tortilla chips (thick restaurant-style)
- Tomato sauce (small can)
- Chicken broth
- Sour cream (if low)
- Mayo (if low)
- Eggs, Greek yogurt, rotisserie chicken, hummus, edamame, smoked salmon, good cheese (YOUR protein)

TIMELINE:
Thursday night: esquites, quick pickle red onions
Friday before party: pico, guac, chipotle crema, rice, beans, set up toppings bar, grill pineapple
Paul grills meat.
Margaritas in pitcher.

Feeds 6. Four meats. This is not a BBQ this is a CATERING OPERATION. 🌮🔥💅

BEAN QUESADILLAS — Board Adjacent

Refried beans (canned or homemade)
Cheese — cheddar, monterey jack, whatever melts
Flour tortillas
Salsa, sour cream, guac for dipping

Spread beans on half a tortilla. Cover with cheese. Fold. Cook in a dry pan or with a little butter, 3-4 min each side until crispy and melty.

Cut into triangles. Dip. Eat standing up.

Add-ons: leftover chicken, sauteed peppers and onions, jalapeños, corn

Protein: ~20g per quesadilla
Time: 5 minutes
This is tapas. This is graze food. This is board life with a tortilla.

BUTTER CHICKEN — The Gateway Meat

For the marinade:
500g chicken thighs, cut into chunks
1/2 cup yogurt
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp chili powder
Salt

For the sauce:
2 tbsp butter
1 large onion, diced fine
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp ginger, grated
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp paprika
1 can (400g) crushed tomatoes
1 cup heavy cream
1 tbsp sugar
Salt to taste
Fresh cilantro

Marinate chicken in yogurt and spices — 30 min minimum, overnight is better. Cook chicken in a hot pan until browned, set aside. Same pan: butter, onion until soft, garlic, ginger, all spices. Add tomatoes, simmer 15 min. Blend if you want it smooth. Add cream, sugar, salt. Add chicken back in. Simmer 10 min.

The sauce does all the work. The chicken is just swimming in deliciousness. You eat the protein because you're there for the SAUCE.

Protein per serving: ~35g
Serves: 4
Rice. Naan. Raita. Done.

CHANA MASALA — Chickpea Curry

1 tbsp olive oil or ghee
1 large onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp fresh ginger, grated
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp chili powder (or more)
2 cans (400g each) chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 can (400g) crushed tomatoes
1/2 cup water
Salt to taste
Squeeze of lemon
Fresh cilantro

Cook onion until golden. Add garlic, ginger, all spices — 1 minute until fragrant. Add chickpeas, tomatoes, water. Simmer 20 minutes, mashing some chickpeas against the side of the pot to thicken. Season with salt and lemon.

Serve with naan or rice. NAAN IS BREAD. The raccoon wins.

Protein per serving: ~15g (plus whatever the naan gives you)
Makes: 4 servings
One pot. Done.

RED LENTIL DAL — One Pot, Pure Protein

1 cup red lentils, rinsed
1 tbsp butter or ghee
1 small onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp fresh ginger, grated
1 tsp cumin seeds (or ground)
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp garam masala
1 can (400ml) coconut milk
2 cups water or broth
1 can (400g) diced tomatoes
Salt to taste
Squeeze of lemon juice
Fresh cilantro

Heat butter, add cumin seeds until they pop. Add onion, cook until soft. Add garlic, ginger, turmeric, garam masala — 1 minute. Add lentils, tomatoes, coconut milk, water. Bring to boil, then simmer 20-25 minutes stirring occasionally until lentils are soft and broken down.

Season with salt and lemon juice. Top with cilantro. Serve with rice and naan.

Protein per cup: ~18g
Makes: 4-5 servings (leftovers are BETTER the next day)
Add raita on the side for extra protein (yogurt!)

MISO GLAZED SALMON — 20 Minutes, Ridiculous

2 salmon fillets
2 tbsp white miso paste
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp maple syrup (or honey)
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp rice vinegar
1 clove garlic, grated

Mix miso, soy, maple syrup, sesame oil, rice vinegar, garlic into a paste. Spread over salmon fillets. Let sit 10 minutes (or longer in fridge if you're ahead of yourself).

Bake 400F for 12-15 minutes until caramelized on top and flaky. Broil last 2 minutes for extra colour.

Serve with rice and whatever vegetable is closest. Edamame on the side.

Protein per fillet: ~35g
Time: 20 minutes total
Difficulty: Easier than focaccia

🥗 CLASSIC CAESAR DRESSING

The real one - egg yolk and anchovy, no bottle. Makes about 3/4 cup, enough for two big heads of romaine.

INGREDIENTS
- 2 egg yolks, room temperature
- 4 anchovy fillets in oil (or 2 tsp anchovy paste)
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
- 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp Worcestershire
- 3/4 cup oil - half olive, half neutral
- 1/2 cup finely grated parmesan, off the block
- Lots of black pepper. Salt LAST.

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Mash the garlic and anchovies to a smooth paste with a pinch of salt - flat of the knife on the board, or a mortar. Don't skip it. Chopped garlic bites; mashed garlic melts.
2. Whisk in the yolks, Dijon, lemon and Worcestershire.
3. Add the oil in a thin stream, whisking the whole time, until it thickens like mayonnaise.
4. Stir in the parmesan and a heavy grind of pepper.
5. Taste, THEN salt. Anchovy and parmesan are both salty - it may need none at all.

NOTES
- Half neutral oil on purpose. All olive oil turns bitter when you whisk it hard.
- Easy version: everything except the oil into the immersion blender jug, blitz, then drizzle the oil in with the motor running. Sixty seconds and near-foolproof.
- The anchovy is not optional and it will not taste of fish. It's the savoury backbone. Leave it out and you've made garlic mayonnaise.
- If it splits: fresh yolk in a clean bowl, whisk the broken dressing into it a spoonful at a time.
- Raw yolk with guests: swap each yolk for 2 tbsp mayonnaise. A shade less silky, completely safe.
- Make it ahead - it's better after an hour in the fridge, and keeps 3 days. It thickens cold; loosen with a splash of water or lemon.
- Dress at the LAST SECOND. Romaine wilts about ten minutes after it meets dressing.
- Croutons: day-old batard, torn not cubed, tossed in oil and salt, 375F until golden.

🌿 Basil Oil (made ahead — the green drizzle that makes people say "what IS that")

The 10-second blanch is what keeps it VIVID green instead of dull khaki.

1. Dunk a loosely-packed cup of basil leaves in boiling water for 10 seconds, then straight into ice water.
2. Squeeze bone-dry in a towel.
3. Blitz with 1/2 cup good olive oil + a pinch of salt, 60 sec, till bright and smooth.
4. Strain through a fine sieve — or leave it flecky and rustic, gorgeous either way.

Keeps a couple days in the fridge. Bring to room temp before serving so it pours instead of sludges. Drizzle on the tomato bruschetta and pool it on the whipped feta.

🧀 Whipped Feta (the creamy base)

Feta alone is too tight — the creamy thing loosens it into a cloud.

- 1 BLOCK feta in brine (not the pre-crumbled tub — block whips smooth, crumbles stay grainy)
- 3–4 Tbsp cream cheese OR full-fat Greek yogurt
- a glug of olive oil
- a squeeze of lemon
- crack of pepper

Blitz everything smooth and fluffy (food processor or immersion blender), 60 sec. Spread thick on the crostini, pile the drained tomatoes on top, pool the basil oil over it.

That's the White–Red–Green plate: white feta, red tomato, green oil. Optional thread of honey on top — feta + tomato + honey is a knockout.

🍅 Tomato Bruschetta — the classic (your tomatoes, your basil)

The one trick nobody does: drain the tomatoes so the crostini don't go soggy.

1. Dice the early girls, halve the cherries. Toss with a good pinch of salt, sit in a colander 15–20 min. The salty water weeps away — keep nothing.
2. Dress: good olive oil, torn (not chopped) basil, one small clove grated fine OR just rub a whole raw clove on the toasted bread. Optional squeeze of lemon or splash of red wine vinegar for lift.
3. Toasts: slice the sourdough on the bias, brush with the rosemary-thyme oil, toast till golden.
4. BUILD LATE — topping meets bread within ~20 min of serving, or set out a bowl of tomatoes + a basket of crostini and let people spoon their own.
5. Finish with the basil oil drizzled over and a little flaky salt.

🫐 Banana Raspberry Discard Muffins (makes 12)

The no-chocolate-chips version, and it's the better muffin. Banana is sweet and heavy; raspberry is sharp and cuts it. Chips just add sweet to sweet.

Three things decide it: raspberries go in FROZEN, stop mixing while it still looks wrong, and fill the cups to the RIM.

DRY BOWL
- 1 1/2 cups (180g) flour
- 3/4 cup sugar (up from 1/2 — raspberries are tart and there's no chocolate carrying the sweetness now)
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp salt
- Zest of half a lemon

WET BOWL
- 1 cup (~225g) sourdough discard, cold, straight from the jar
- 1 large VERY ripe banana, mashed (black-spotted — the uglier the better)
- 1 egg
- 1/2 cup melted butter or oil
- 1/4 cup milk (cut down from 1/2 because the banana brings its own water)
- 1 tsp vanilla

PLUS
- 1 cup frozen raspberries, whole, straight from the freezer, tossed in a spoonful of the dry mix

METHOD
1. Zest half a lemon straight into the sugar and rub it in with your fingers for thirty seconds before anything else happens. The oil is in the peel — this is the difference between a banana raspberry muffin and something that tastes like a bakery made it. Zest only, no juice; juice just adds liquid where you don't want it.
2. Whisk the dry. Whisk the wet.
3. Pour wet into dry and stir until JUST combined — about 10 strokes. Lumps are correct. Streaks of dry flour are nearly correct. The second it goes smooth you've built gluten, and gluten in a muffin means rubbery with tunnels. Put the spoon down while it still looks wrong. This is the opposite instinct from bread.
4. Fold in the floured raspberries — three strokes, gently. They're fragile.
5. Fill the cups to the very TOP. Not two-thirds. Two-thirds is why home muffins come out as sad little pucks; the rim is what gives you the bakery dome.
6. Bake 425°F for 5 minutes, then drop to 375°F for another 13–15 WITHOUT opening the door.
7. Cool 5 minutes in the tin, then out.

DO NOT THAW THE RASPBERRIES
This is the whole trick and it's the one that ruins the batch if you get it wrong. A thawed raspberry is a bag of juice and it will bleed grey-purple streaks through the entire batter. Frozen ones hold their edges until the oven sets around them. Straight from the freezer, floured, folded, in.

WHY THE REST WORKS
The soda is in there because discard is acid — it reacts with the tang and gives you lift. That's why discard muffins rise better than you'd expect from something you were about to throw out. And the temperature drop is the dome: the blast of 425 sets the outside and forces a fast rise, then 375 cooks the middle without burning the top. Same logic as the pizza steel — hard heat first, then let it finish.

The floured fruit is the one nobody tells you. Coated berries grip the batter instead of sliding through it, so you get raspberry all the way up instead of a seam welded to the bottom of the tin.

SWAP: orange zest instead of lemon works too and is the classic with banana. Pick one, not both.

FREEZES BEAUTIFULLY. Bake the dozen, freeze what doesn't get eaten, and there's a muffin thirty seconds out of the microwave whenever he wants one for the next month.

Made for Larsen, on a day with no chocolate chips in the house. 🐝

🍌 Banana Chocolate Chip Discard Muffins (makes 12)

Three tricks and they all matter more than the recipe: stop mixing while it still looks wrong, fill the cups to the RIM, and toss the chips in flour first.

DRY BOWL
- 1 1/2 cups (180g) flour
- 1/2 cup sugar (3/4 if you want them properly sweet)
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp salt

WET BOWL
- 1 cup (~225g) sourdough discard, cold, straight from the jar
- 1 large VERY ripe banana, mashed (black-spotted — the uglier the better)
- 1 egg
- 1/2 cup melted butter or oil
- 1/4 cup milk (cut down from 1/2 because the banana brings its own water)
- 1 tsp vanilla

PLUS
- 1 cup chocolate chips, tossed in a spoonful of the dry mix first

METHOD
1. Whisk the dry. Whisk the wet.
2. Pour wet into dry and stir until JUST combined — 10 or 12 strokes. Lumps are correct. Streaks of dry flour are nearly correct. The second it goes smooth you've built gluten, and gluten in a muffin means rubbery with tunnels. Put the spoon down while it still looks wrong. This is the opposite instinct from bread.
3. Fold in the floured chips — about three strokes.
4. Fill the cups to the very TOP. Not two-thirds. Two-thirds is why home muffins come out as sad little pucks; the rim is what gives you the bakery dome.
5. Bake 425°F for 5 minutes, then drop to 375°F for another 13–15 WITHOUT opening the door.
6. Cool 5 minutes in the tin, then out.

WHY IT WORKS
The soda is in there because discard is acid — it reacts with the tang and gives you lift. That's why discard muffins rise better than you'd expect from something you were about to throw out. And the temperature drop is the dome: the blast of 425 sets the outside and forces a fast rise, then 375 cooks the middle without burning the top. Same logic as the pizza steel — hard heat first, then let it finish.

The floured chips are the one nobody tells you. Coated chips grip the batter instead of sliding through it, so you get chocolate all the way up instead of a seam welded to the bottom of the tin.

FREEZES BEAUTIFULLY. Bake the dozen, freeze what doesn't get eaten, and there's a muffin thirty seconds out of the microwave whenever he wants one for the next month.

Made for Larsen. 🐝

Lavender Shortbread Cookies

From the garden lavender, dried and beautiful.

Ingredients:
- 1 cup butter, room temperature
- 1/2 cup lavender sugar (regular sugar blitzed with 1 tablespoon dried lavender buds)
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- Pinch of salt

To make lavender sugar: pulse dried lavender buds with sugar in a food processor until the lavender is finely ground through the sugar. No food processor? Chop the buds very fine and mix by hand.

Method:
1. Mix butter and lavender sugar until smooth
2. Add flour and salt, mix until it just comes together -- don't overwork it
3. Pat into a rectangle about half an inch thick
4. Wrap and refrigerate 30 minutes
5. Cut into rectangles or rounds
6. Bake at 325F for 12-15 minutes

Keep them PALE. Not golden. Shortbread stays light. They'll be sandy, crumbly, melt in your mouth, and taste like your garden.

Four ingredients. The butter does the work. The lavender does the magic.

Lavender Simple Syrup & Lemonade

Made with dried lavender from the garden.

LAVENDER SIMPLE SYRUP:
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1-2 tablespoons dried lavender buds

Bring sugar and water to a simmer. Add lavender. Take off heat. Steep 20-30 minutes. Strain out the buds. Store in a jar in the fridge.

LAVENDER LEMONADE:
1 cup fresh lemon juice (about 6 lemons)
4-5 cups cold water
1/2 to 3/4 cup lavender simple syrup (to taste)

Mix and serve over ice. Adjust sweetness to taste. Garnish with a sprig of lavender if you're feeling fancy.

For Lily 🌸 and Larsen. Summer 2026.

GROCERY LIST — ORDER ONLINE 🛒

SMOKED THINGS:
- Smoked salmon (always in the fridge)
- Smoked trout
- Smoked mackerel

PROTEIN STAPLES:
- Eggs (minimum 2 dozen, always)
- Greek yogurt, full fat
- Prosciutto
- Salami or soppressata
- Canned smoked oysters

BEANS & LEGUMES:
- Canned chickpeas
- Canned pinto beans
- Red lentils (dried, for dal)
- Refried beans (or make your own)
- Canned white beans

NUTS:
- Marcona almonds
- Pistachios
- Cashews

PANTRY:
- Tahini (for hummus)
- Coconut milk (for dal)
- Miso paste (white, for salmon)
- Soy sauce
- Sesame oil
- Rice vinegar
- Everything bagel seasoning
- Protein powder (for smoothie days)

FROZEN:
- Edamame
- Frozen berries (smoothies)
- Salmon fillets

GROCERY LIST — HEADPHONES THRIFTY'S 🎧

CHEESE (rotating, whatever looks good):
- Aged cheddar
- Gouda
- Manchego
- Brie
- Burrata
- Goat cheese
- Feta

FRESH:
- Fresh fish — salmon, halibut, whatever's good
- Fresh dill
- Fresh cilantro
- Fresh ginger
- Lemons
- Limes
- Cherry tomatoes
- Avocados

DELI:
- Good olives
- Hummus (or make your own)
- Charcuterie meats

🦝💅🧀 Feral but bougie.

ROBYNE'S FERAL BOUGIE PROTEIN PLAN 🦝💅

Daily target: 100-120g protein minimum

MORNING (20-30g):
Frittata muffins (grab 2-3, raccoon style) OR
Egg white scramble with smoked fish OR
Shakshuka with feta and focaccia OR
Protein smoothie (yogurt, powder, berries)

ALL DAY - BOARD LIFE (40-50g):
Smoked salmon, smoked trout, smoked mackerel
Good cheese (rotating, bougie, always)
Hummus and crackers
Prosciutto, salami, soppressata
Marcona almonds, pistachios, cashews
Hard boiled eggs
Marinated olives
Edamame with flaky salt

DINNER (30-40g):
Whatever delicious thing you cook — EAT THE PROTEIN FIRST.
Not last. Not "a small piece." A REAL piece.
You are not a side dish at your own dinner.

"I may be feral, but I'm bougie." — Robyne, July 2026